The past few years I have lived behind a veil… no one knew who I was because I did not know…
My shadow self became my voice while I allowed myself to sit back, just on the horizon of light and dark. I hid…
Deep inside of my heart was a pain. It burdened me to speak of it so I silenced my voice to protect my being. It was a choice. My choice.
I listened and learned from my surroundings in stealth. Only speaking what I considered necessary truths. Only to protect my walls and boundaries.
The secret to my silence was My Smile. My beauty cloaked my pain. The light on the horizon was bright enough to shield the darkness beyond.
The Secret Smile was a struggle. The weight of the lies I told my self grew heavier. No one knew the gravity weighing on me. If there was a clue ever written on my face. The veil of silence eliminated any proof.
But then, I began to lose belief in myself. I thought I was safe teetering on the borders I created. I was losing sight of my purpose and no longer had a choice. I was spiraling out of control. Who was I ?
I humbly asked my Ancestors for direction. I lifted my eyes up to the Heavens. I met with the Source, the Source acknowledged my Substance. The Silence was filled with a Most High and Holy Vibration.
When I looked back at me I saw a reflection of the Great Goodness within me, the dark path behind me was light up and guided this new path before me. My pain was replaced with gratitude.
The veil is a souvenir I have on this journey of self discovery. I am becoming my own self fulling prophecy. I wished to share this with myself as a reminder of how far I’ve come. My smile is lighter. Asé.
Today was a time for focus on love and strengthening the heart. The Heart Chakra Center is placed on the heart. The heart chakra is the first in line of the upper Chakras. In most people there is a slight disconnect between the lower Chakras and the upper. The upper region has more of an impact on the spiritual body while the lower dictates the physical body.
In all honesty, my heart chakra day was a very rocky one. Around mid-day my being was challenged by the very distinctive ways of the word. I am an extremely passion person when it comes to my people and the treatment of my people in all walks of life. I stood up for what I believed in, knowing in the back of my mind my choices were made out of love. Although I feel I passed the test, I still had a heavy feeling weighing on me. My support system reaffirmed that my words were true and my intentions were pure.
I carried my tourmaline with me as per usual and I’m glad I did. When the energy in a space is to negative and consuming it’s best to work out an exit. My Rose Quartz aided my tolerance for myself. I can release thoughts that do not serve my intentions. I’m working to balance my spiritual body with my physical body. The Malachite creates space for the hearts energy to grow. The bands and layers teach the heart to recognize patterns and to flow with patterns of love and compassion.
Unfortunately my heavy heart was distracting my drive to meditate this evening. I did write out some things I wish to release from my trinity and set them free. I wrote out some positive intentions over water and drank that. I decided to record a video journal of how I was feeling and to speak it out positively.