The past few years I have lived behind a veil… no one knew who I was because I did not know…
My shadow self became my voice while I allowed myself to sit back, just on the horizon of light and dark. I hid…
Deep inside of my heart was a pain. It burdened me to speak of it so I silenced my voice to protect my being. It was a choice. My choice.
I listened and learned from my surroundings in stealth. Only speaking what I considered necessary truths. Only to protect my walls and boundaries.
The secret to my silence was My Smile. My beauty cloaked my pain. The light on the horizon was bright enough to shield the darkness beyond.
The Secret Smile was a struggle. The weight of the lies I told my self grew heavier. No one knew the gravity weighing on me. If there was a clue ever written on my face. The veil of silence eliminated any proof.
But then, I began to lose belief in myself. I thought I was safe teetering on the borders I created. I was losing sight of my purpose and no longer had a choice. I was spiraling out of control. Who was I ?
I humbly asked my Ancestors for direction. I lifted my eyes up to the Heavens. I met with the Source, the Source acknowledged my Substance. The Silence was filled with a Most High and Holy Vibration.
When I looked back at me I saw a reflection of the Great Goodness within me, the dark path behind me was light up and guided this new path before me. My pain was replaced with gratitude.
The veil is a souvenir I have on this journey of self discovery. I am becoming my own self fulling prophecy. I wished to share this with myself as a reminder of how far I’ve come. My smile is lighter. Asé.
Since the last Full Moon I have decided to move back to my home town of Philadelphia. I made the choice to go back home to be closer to family, friends, and the movement. My city is growing and changing its important that Philadelphia is my home base. Leading up to this upcoming moon cycle the Chakra Challenge is helping me to reshape my energy, thoughts, and emotions.
Since I’ve made the choice to transition. There has been a weight lifted off my shoulders. As a result, I have been very keen to analyze my own needs and my own time. Constantly working for someone else to barely make ends meet isn’t cutting it anymore. I took the day off to get my mind right as this move means that so will be my own boss. On the contrary of going to work I need to get into the hustlers spirit.
I stayed home all day today meditate and manifest. I did some journaling, prioritized some moving operations and overall enjoyed peace and quiet at home. Most of my day was spent silent speaking to myself thru the words I wrote. With my fluorite and lapis in hand I had a very productive day.
Later in the afternoon I decided it would be wise to go for a walk. It was a truly beautiful day, one that was spent indoors mostly. Stepping out felt like an adventure. I just wanted to take a light stroll and spend some money. My course led me to a Light Worker named Star. We shared conversations about dreams, growth, and change. For the first time I got my tarot read.
The tarot cards read Swiftness, The Fool, and Failure. They resonated very well with the path I am beginning to walk down. Swiftness expresses my attitude towards life, as an Aries I’m quick to jump into things. Pulling this card reminded me of my impulsive nature. It doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me. Swiftness is a strength of mine. The Fool was a reminder to live my best life for me. When you place the needs of others before your own you become The Fool. Lastly, Failure, everyone has their own perception of failure. This card reminded me not to fear change because of the possiblity of failure. Then I thought if I am on a journey of growth and change, failure is relative.
As time goes on I’m working on providing clarity with my words and speech. Star shared a great technique for observing self talk. Switching a bracelet from wrist to wrist each time your openly or maybe even quietly express a complaint. The movements start to reshape your reality as your become more conscious of what is being said once a movement is prescribed. It was the perfect takeaway for my throat. chakra day.
The Sacral Chakra is second on the Chakra scale. The sacral chakra is influenced by water and creativity. It honors uniqueness and change within an individual body. In a sense ‘going with the flow,’ and allowing space for the self to be open.
This chakra has the strongest effect on the body’s sexual tendencies and desires. It is located in the region of the reproductive organs on both the male and female body. The Sacral Chakra encourages a healthy connection between emotions and sexual pleasure. To often, this Chakra is weakened by poor experiences and meaningless encounters. It is important to know and understand how one feels love.
This morning I woke particularly confident. Grateful for another day to challenge myself to Be Better. I prepared my crystals for the day’s world: Orange Calcite. This stone works with the creative energies to keep imagination active. Seek inspiration from everything and go with those motions.
When you perceive yourself as an artist you give yourself the constant relief of never having to justify your decisions. You allow yourself to explore and learn. Even as things may feel wrong or bad, you learn to accept even that for what it is… possibilities.
My day was great and full. Spent my sunset in Prospect Park celebrating new life and birth. A genius idea of becoming a dula or midwife came to me this evening while blowing bubbles with a baby girl, Luna. Although I want kids I want to overcome my apprehensions about childbirth.
Later that evening, two Cancer friends joined me for my Sacral Meditation Session for the night. My rising sign is a Cancer so I enjoy being amidst Cancerous energy, it helps me toss a softer palette. For as long as I’ve known my Soul Sister, she has insisted that I read crystal balls. I doubted myself as working on crystal ball readings is not something I considered, although I have great communication with crystals. My Soul Sister granted me with a powerful gift, a Bright Blue Calcite Crystal Ball.
The Chakra Challenge is something I’ve been conceptualizing for a few months. I’m constantly looking for new and creative ways to explore my energy portals. And improve my quality of health.
The Chakra System is a channel of energy points beginning at the base of the spine rising to the crown of the head. Each energy point corresponds to an organ or organ system and effects the functions of physical body. The chakra points also have specific colors aligning to their energy patterns. Many things such as foods, sights, smells, and touching the points can all be very stimulating to the chakras.
The Chakra Challenge is a self care technique inspiring one to reflect on the inner strength while putting effort into the outer appearance. Wear the colors that influence the Chakra point or charge up the chakras by meditating.
Day 1 began today! Starting at the Base Chakra, the Root Chakra. The day was designed to be busy and I knew I would need a lot of endurance. From early afternoon to about 9pm my books were loaded at the salon. The goal was to not get distracted by outside energies but to focus on my own levels. Doing the best I can from start to finish, remaining consistent, and checking in with my clients as well as myself.
As a crystal child, I am constanty working with crystal energies and frequencies. I make a point to never enter my place of work without Black Tourmaline. Simply because it protects against negative vibes and that is crucial in my industry. On this day however the tourmaline was to ground me in spiritual practicality. Assisted by my Red Jasper to ground me in my work and keep me determined.
Aside from stability the root chakra assist one in their analysis of their fears. Prior to starting this challenge I was in a position in which I felt extremely unsafe. I’ll include the details in a separate post. The experience served as a catalyst for me to begin the challenge so the details are equally as important.
Fear is a strong determined factor for how behavior is rationalized. The scale has two extremes – fear and love. While my work day was extremely productive I encountered my fear late into the night… waterbugs.
Although the insect wasn’t alive I still felt myself frozen in fear. I am aware of my bugphobia and perhaps this brought an awareness to start developing courage. I was able to observe myself in fear. I become very still. On this journey I want to use this stillness to my advantage and train this stillness into stealth.
I finished off my Root Chakra day with a meditation session. I have exploring binary beats and frequencies and their effects on the body. The sacred sounds induce a new level of focus and have impacted me tremendously. A 10 minute Binary Chakra healing session provided by YouTube allowed me to tune my base and prepare my mind.